Can we just fold the Lightning already?

Pittsburgh vs Tampa Bay

First time trying to do a recap, and it’s a trap team. I hope this will be as pleasantly sleep inducing as the game was….


40 seconds into the game, Steve Downie picked the wrong week to take a highly cheap shot on Sidney Crosby, 2 minutes for Roughing…PP not warmed up yet, Pens get nothing. The rest of the first period was a lot like watching paint dry. Guerin takes an interference call and Malkin takes a silly roughing call. Somewhere towards the end of the first, Orpik delivers a “Wonka Bar” to St. Louis , who then flails on the ice like Veruca Salt (I WANNA PENALTY NOW!!) The Pens have REALLY get into the groove against trap teams, or this playoff run is going to be short.

Literally, 8 minutes….8 minutes into thinking about how different my life would be if I were Ralph Macchio, the King of 1985, Vincent Lecavalier manages to slip a puck past Fleury.

1-0, Bolts

I continue my daydream, Elizabeth Shue was telling me how she would take care of Johnny for me….

I look up for a minute to see Teddy Purcell shoot a stick on the ice into a passing lane deflecting a puck..2 Minutes for interference, nothing going but the PP will carry over.

End of Period

The Implosion of Tampa Bay (AKA The Third Period)

The PP has nothing for the brief time to start the 3rd. After the penalty to Purcell expires, there is a mad rush in Nitty’s grill. A few weird bounces later, Dupuis bangs that rebound home
1-1, Tie Game

 Didn’t seem like much time had passed when Kurtis Foster decided to layout McKee for having an invalid driver’s license then with 9 seconds left in the penalty to Foster, Paul Szczechura decides to give a fan a souvenir puck, 2 minutes Delay of Game…Pens PP gets extended.

Just after the 5 on 3 expires

Sergei Gonchar enters the room, on the PP

2-1, Pitt

I don’t even know how to address what was to come next, Feds get jobbed by Hedman, Feds jobs Hedman back…Bitch fight breaks out, Hedman resorts to pulling Feds hair? Well, Fed Ex took down Hedman and delivered a flurry of punches on the way down. Hedman gets the extra 2 for being a tool. Pens PP already did their job tonight, nothing going.

Yeah, Tampa tried to look tough for like a minute but….nothing doing. Orpik and Downie leave for a visit to the box for jobbing each other. Nitty goes to the bench, Eaton lays out for a blocked shot….Buzzer sounds.

Game Over.

Somewhere in this silliness, Malkin left the game and did not return, most likely because Steve Downie is a douche, but that's not confirmed as of yet

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